Orenism..

It's been a while...

2008-05-13T03:09:00.000-07:00

Its been a while since I've blogged.

Well...i've got no idea whatsoever to blog about but i found a rather interesting photo. Mojo-jojo!

More to come...

Golf anyone?

2007-03-03T10:59:00.000-08:00

It is an old man's game? I certainly don't think so. Hmm I hope its not cause I'm starting to play it again. I started out pretty early in my life, got forced into it when I hit double age digits. I guess I didn't enjoy it that much previously. Maybe because of my laziness? Yeah I guess so.

Anyways, golf is ok. I'm not really good at it. Just hit the ball and hope for the best. I hate those viper shot when you swing and instead watching the golf ball flying off into the air, it goes speeding through the grass, hissing away like a viper going through the grass. Ah the frustration.

Talking bout frustration, golf can sometime be a bloody frustrating game. I know for sure cause I've been through that situation many time before. Haha. The more your frustration grows, the more you will hit those viper shots. Damn you. But it can be a relaxing time out on the golf course. Playing in Malaysia is hot, you'll end up looking like a baked chocolate muffin fresh out from the oven. Haha.

Whoever created the driving range is a genius! Thank god for it. I see it as not just a place for you to practice your swing, but it is a place where you can release your tension and channel it through your clubs to the golf ball. Aaahhh the serenity. It is also a place where you will see a lot of funny things. For instance, I for one has seen a driver (1 wood) clubhead when further than the ball after the guy had a swing. Hahaha. My eyes popped out in amazement. I even wanted to laugh my head off cause the guy tried to maintain his cool but didn't do a good job at it. Hahaha. To make things worst. I met the guy at a golf tournament a few weeks later. Oh mannnn! I was searching for a sand pit for hide my head. Hahahaha. Good god! At first I didnt remember him as he notice me first. "You remember me?" he said. "Hmm..not really". "I'm the one who shot my wood clubhead into the driving range!" Hahahahaha. There I was standing like an idiot. If I had supersonic speed, I would have dashed away from the scene. Moral of the story: If you see a person hitting his clubhead further than the ball, don't laugh or even smile, just ignore it. It might be one of your clients or relatives. Haha. Well that is the sort of moments golf can bring. Funny shit.

Try and have a swing. Either you'll hate it or love it. I leave this post with a golf joke:

Four married guys go golfing. While playing the 4th hole, the following conversation took place:

1st Guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."

2nd Guy: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife I will build a new deck for the pool."

3rd Guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife I will remodel the kitchen for her.

They continued to play the hole when they realized that the 4th guy hadn't said anything. So they asked him, "You haven't said anything about what you had todo to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

4th guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 a.m. and when it went off, I shut off the alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, 'golf course or intercourse?' And she said, "Wear your sweater".

Berbedak Session

2007-03-01T06:34:00.000-08:00

Next week would be a very cultural week for me. Brunei is a country rich in culture and heritage. My brain went into spasm state when I got to know 'bout this following event and what I'll be wearing! Excited? Hmm..

Aiyo, don't know what to say 'bout this. Been saying this to people around me, that there is one event (the event is called Berbedak) where I'll be wearing this baju besi something or rather. I don't know much 'bout it but I did some research on it.

Well this baju besi thing is not really a baju besi. It kinda of like pieces of metal worn over the songket thingy. Waahh. Poning kepalo den. Anyways. When I saw how it looks like in a picture, the first thing I notice was its Kung Fu Hustle style of bangles! Wahhhh Kung Fu Hustle!! Hahahaha.

Back to reality. Apparently each pieces of metal I'll be wearing has its own name to it. For example, the many bangles on the hand is called Gelang Penguluan which I have no clue what does it mean. Any Bruneian's out there care to explain? One more thing, if you notice that there is a foot bangle which is called Gelang Geroncong. Geroncong? As Pauline Hanson used to say: "Please explain.."

Anyways, please refer to the picture for more name if you care to know. If not don't bother. The difference between the male and female costume is the headgear. I pity the female headgear. Interesting headpiece, looks heavy, lots of names goes into it and again interesting.

Well there you go, this is Brunei's traditional costume that me and my future-future are going to where next week. Its going to be very interesting. Very traditional. Don't know what to expect. Redah je la...

Testosterone

2007-02-28T00:12:00.000-08:00

Whoa! Testosterone..I wonder how they got the name Testosterone? Apparently testosterone is a hormone found in not only men but women! Wow something new everyday. But I guess the level of testosterone is at the high side in men. Do men have emotions? Of course we do. I've got 'em as well. FYI, men have two emotions: Hungry & Horny. Ladies, if you see him without and erection, make him a sandwich or something. Haha.

A classic story I read involve how a classic way a man chooses a wife. Heres how it goes:

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much!The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much!Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much!Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.Men are like that, you know.

I did not use that method of finding me a wifey. Haha. Funny shit.

Another thing about men is that we are definitely happier than the opposite sex. For example:

1. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

2. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

3. The world is your urinal.

4. Wrinkles add character.

5. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

6. One mood all the time. (Haha)

7. People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

8. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

9. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

10. You only have to shave your face and neck.

11. You can play with toys all your life.

12. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife (what an invention!).

13. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

I am sure there are still lots more to come. No wonder men are happier!

For me, I would be a happier after 9th March. Waaahhh. *Spasm Spasm*.

Penyu bertelur

2007-02-24T11:48:00.000-08:00

Have you ever seen a turtle laying its eggs? Well you might want to check out this photo. Don't know where it was taken from but I think its somewhere where the turtle roam free. Its a soft shelled turtle, can't see its head tho. Haha. Cracked a few cracks. The lost member of Ninja Turtle.

Craziness

2007-02-23T22:54:00.000-08:00

Women, whatever you do, they will definitely make you crazy. Many kind of craziness. If you're without one, you'll go crazy to find one. If you got one, they will definitely make you crazy in time. I for one has gone through that but I'm sure there will be more craziness coming.

In order to marry one, all hell break loose. You will go crazy on thinking how to propose, finding the right ring, words to say, the environment and etc. In the end, you get through it. Then comes telling the family. Haha. That is a funny story.

Comes the wedding preparation. Waaaaaaahhh! Lucky for me I have got the best wedding planner a guy could have. To the wedding planner: Kembang lebeh skit ah. Hehe. Craziness...I don't know what to do without her and my family. *Spasm*. Next is the real thing. Craziness!

I got a bit thrown off by the wedding. Anyways, if you don't have a women, you'll be crazy in search for one (or two) (maybe three). Pening pening. Very tough job to find one. But then again it's up to the person. Whats your ice cream flavor?? Mine of course is Bruneian Orange. Hahaha.

So, I don't have any advise. It just that whatever you do, women will definitely make you crazy. Crazy in love, crazy crackhead, crazy madness!, crazy crazy crazy. So we just have to live with it. Note to self: Life is crazy!

I understand why some ladies out there choose to stay single. A lot of crazy men out there as well. Why I say this? Check it out:

Hahahahaha. The second photo rocks man.. cracks my crack up!

Tug of War..

2007-02-23T03:24:00.000-08:00

ad·ver·tise

Pronunciation[ad-ver-tahyz, ad-ver-tahyz] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation verb, -tised, -tis·ing. –verb (used with object)
1. to announce or praise (a product, service, etc.) in some public medium of communication in order to induce people to buy or use it: to advertise a new brand of toothpaste.
2. to give information to the public about; announce publicly in a newspaper, on radio or television, etc.: to advertise a reward.
3. to call attention to, in a boastful or ostentatious manner: Stop advertising yourself!

Very interesting subject but if you assign me to advertise something, better think again. Haha. Anyways the guys who produce the following adverts really got something up against their brains. Especially the last one. Cracks my crack up! Nicely done. Enjoy...

What do you think Proton or Perodua will answer to these adverts? Haha. Good one Mr. Bentley. I think its the CEO.

Say it right!

2007-02-23T02:54:00.000-08:00

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror.

Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:"Honey, breakfast is on the stove,I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight.I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?""Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

Lucky him, his subconcious mind reacted well to the booze. Haha. So ladies, whenever your husband/boyfriend comes home drunk, try to pull down his pants and see what he has got to say. Nice trick by the way. Below are some of the unfortunates ones:

Don't want to be in those situation huh? Hahahahha...Funny shit!

Welcome to Orenism....

2007-02-22T04:44:00.000-08:00

Since im getting married soon, this would be my last few weeks of bachelorhoodism! so i decided to blog it down. see what will happens next.

Let me start this blog with a joke i got a few weeks ago:

A woman sat on a plane heading for New York, when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing. The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt off and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screamed. So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Here you go, you crazy bitch, iron this."

Cracks my crack up! Hahaha..

Anyways, welcome to Orenism. Why Oren? Well, to those who know me, I seem to dig oren. Everytime I see oren i get spasm. Spasm! I think it all started in school when i bought an oren bag. Since then, all i see is orange, jingga, Holland and oren. So basically, i likee!

Enjoy!

lovinya!